How does your level of physical fitness affect your marriage?

06/02/2018 / By Zoey Sky

Not all couples discuss their physical fitness, especially since it may cause disagreements. However, this can be bad for your relationship because fitness is more than just looking good in a bathing suit or having abs.

If you wait until the other person becomes too unhealthy before you start discussing their fitness, it may be too late.

For example, men may not pay that much attention to their appearance or fitness after marriage, but women tend to be more aware of how much they weigh or what they look like.

The facts

According to behavioral scientists, human behavior is “primarily motivated by a drive to survive.” Women will usually partner with a man with the highest probability of passing their genes on to a new generation. However, men tend to choose mates based on physical beauty so physical beauty increases a woman’s odds of securing a mate. (Related: Relationship Tips for a Happy Marriage and a Healthy Life.)

Behavioral scientists also posit that married men don’t pay too much attention to their looks after marriage because women value a man’s “ability to raise their social status and provide the resources needed to raise a family.” This is one possible reason why wealthy men, who are often average-looking, are often in relationships with very attractive women.

When it comes to married life, fitness is still important. Per the latest statistics from the National Institutes of Health, at least two-thirds of adults are overweight or obese. Gaining weight is linked to severe health issues like diabetes and heart disease.

In a study, researchers Adena Galinsky and Linda Waite analyzed data from 732 married couples. The findings revealed that a person’s physical health could significantly impact marital satisfaction.

Husbands and wives who rated their personal health “poor” often gave a low rating to the quality of their marriage. Couples who rated their personal health “excellent” tend to rate their marital satisfaction high as well.

Fitness and married life

If one person has poor physical health, it can affect the individual and the marriage. For example, it can limit their ability to take part in physical activities with their spouse. It can also lower libido and sexual activity, which may also decline when an individual stops feeling comfortable with their body.

While marital satisfaction involves factors other than physical fitness and good health, for a lot of couples, these topics have to be discussed.

If you believe that physical fitness is something that you have to talk about in your relationship, consider these guidelines:

Bond through your regular workouts – Instead of losing patience with each other, use this opportunity to grow closer as a couple. Exercise could be another thing that you both enjoy doing as a husband and wife.
Celebrate accomplishments – The road to physical fitness requires hard work, but don’t dwell on the times that you will fail. As you get closer to your goal, celebrate together by trying fun things that are more enjoyable because of your improved health.
Don’t be critical and defensive – Never blame the other person. This may antagonize them. It can also make them reject any helpful comments, or they may refuse to face the issue. When the discussion gets personal, the real problem often gets ignored.
Face the problem as a team – After all, a marriage is also a partnership. Discuss your dreams for your relationship, and try to talk about how physical fitness and health issues could be preventing these dreams from becoming a reality. Consider how your marriage can change if you both achieved your fitness goals.
Make this a competition – But don’t get mad. Make weight loss a healthy competition by encouraging the other person, especially if they don’t feel like hitting the gym on a certain day.
Set realistic goals together – Try to reach targets that are possible for both of you. Measure your progress using data, such as pounds lost or improvements in cholesterol and blood sugar levels. Support each other so you can reach your goals. “True love inspires, it doesn’t require,” so don’t set requirements for each other.