Forget wheatgrass: Suburban mom chooses ‘semen smoothie’ for optimal health

A single mother of two is making an outrageous claim that she has beat the flu by drinking smoothies laced with sperm. Tracy Kiss is a 29-year-old woman from Buckinghamshire, England and she puts a spoonful of her best friend’s sperm in her daily morning smoothie in an attempt to boost her immunity. Kiss, a personal trainer, has advocated sperm use previously for facial ointment. She says that the smoothies have improved her mood after previously feeling very little energy.

Kiss doesn’t care what others think of her bizarre choice of nutrients, although she says the taste of her smoothies can vary depending on what her best friend, the donor, has been eating.

Kiss is a vegan, which some may see as a conflict of interest, since human semen is indeed an animal product. She receives a fresh tub of the semen 3 times weekly. “I know he’s healthy, doesn’t smoke, drink or do drugs and I made him have an STI check,” she said. “When I first approached him, he was concerned I’d use it to impregnate myself. But once I’d convinced him it was for my beauty regime he agreed – after all, he has a regular supply at hand!”

The qualified nutritional advisor, Kiss, has been consuming the sperm for a month daily now and keeps it in her fridge alongside other common groceries. She mixes it with fruit, seeds, coconut or almond milk. “Every batch tastes different, depending on what he’s been eating,” she said. “If he’s been drinking alcohol or eaten something particularly pungent like asparagus, I ask him to give me a heads up so I know not to drink it neat. Things like pineapple and peppermint make it taste better, but I’ll happily take it straight off a spoon usually.”

Kiss says that sperm is a great, natural product and that we shouldn’t be so critical of it. On the alleged advice of her beautician, Kiss has been using sperm as a skin product for a couple of years now to soothe her rosacea. She mixes it with egg whites and lavender oil then puts it on her face for 15 minutes, 3 times weekly.

Dr. Carol Cooper has, unsurprisingly, blasted Kiss’s flu remedy. Dr. Cooper says there’s no scientific evidence that consuming semen will prevent the flu. Depending on the origin of the sperm, Kiss may be at risk of catching viruses including Zika and HIV. While Dr. Cooper did admit that sperm contains a lot of zinc, it doesn’t compare to the amount obtainable from food or vitamin. Dr Sarah Jarvis agreed and said that a better way for vegans to get protein would be through foods like nuts.


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